March 21, 2011 by Mark Lidstone

The Unicorn – Killing Friends 6

For Giselle Eves
Place names credited to Candace Cormier

Once upon a time, long before the human race, the world was populated by wonderful creatures. Creatures that, most of us, have only read about in story books and fairy tales. As the Earth aged, many of these mystical creatures died out, unable to adapt to the new, harsher, climate. This is the story of Giselle: the last unicorn.

Giselle bathed in the warmth of the sun in Ahlamel Forest. The sun glistened off of her white coat, blonde mane and golden horn. Days like these had become all too rare. The sky was clear and a beautiful, pale green instead of the ugly blue colour that had seemed to appear more and more often. Giselle had learned to appreciate these days, but today, she could find no happiness.

She was quickly roused from her rest when a towering shadow was cast over her. She looked up to see her friend Mark, the bear, staring down at her. His fur was dark and his shoulders broad.

“Giselle”, he said, “you aren’t yourself today. Is something the matter?”

“Oh, Mark”, she said, “How I envy you. You bears are so strong, you handle these changes so well. Your kind will be around for years to come. We unicorns are so delicate and fair, the harsh weather conditions are too much. Now, I am the only one of my kind left. It’s a loneliness you will never understand”.

Mark, the mighty bear, turned his head from her and rolled his eyes.

“If that’s what worries you, Giselle, I have great news for you.” Mark turned to face her. “You aren’t alone. There is another unicorn. His name is Ryan.”

Giselle looked up at her friend in disbelief.

“The unicorn king? He is still alive?” she asked. “How can that be?”

“Well,” said Mark, “It’s not like you’ve actually gone looking for any other unicorns..”

“We must find him”, she interrupted, “Where is he? You must take me to him.”

“Oh, no” replied Mark, “Fuck that. I’m not walking around this big ass kingdom, it’s hot as hell out here. I know some guys though, they will help you”.

“We must hurry, friend”, she said, “I must find him immediately”.

“Yo, Dogs”, Mark roared, shaking the trees as he did. Before long, two large dogs, Chester and Dram, burst through the bushes and approached the giant bear. Their fur was short and matted. Mark bent over and scratched each one behind the ears. “’Sup Dogs?”, he asked.

“Not much, not much,” said Chester. “Trying to survive this heat, you know?”

“Most def”, added Dram.

“Yeah, I hear you”, said Mark, “I look forward to that blue sky. Cool things down a little.”

“Fo’ sho”, said Dram. He sat down and scratched his neck with his hind leg. “Whatchu need bear?” he asked.

“I’ve got a proposition for you two” Mark replied signalling Giselle to join them. “My friend, Giselle, here would like to meet with the unicorn king”. The two dogs eyed her up and down.

“Unicorns?” asked Chester with uncertainty. “I’m not too fond of unicorns. Too shiny”.

“Oh, please Dogs, you have to help me”, pleaded Giselle. “We are the last of our kind. If we don’t meet, our species will end”.

Dram pulled his friend aside.

“You know, Dog” he said, “I think we should do this”.

“What? Why?”, asked Chester, “You know Mark isn’t going to give us shit for doing it. That bear is tighter than my..”

“Look at it like this”, interrupted Dram, “They are the last of the unicorns. True?”

“True, true..”

“If we help them, we save their whole species”

“So..”

“So, you don’t think that deserves a bad ass reward?” asked Dram, “Come on, unicorns basically shit out wishes”.

Chester thought this over for a moment.

“Alright”, he said “I could go for that”.

The two friends made their way back to the unicorn and their one tonne companion.

“Okay”, said Dram, “We’re in”

—

The trio embarked on their journey to find the unicorn king. It was not an easy one. First, they climbed Mount Evoriah, the tallest mountain in the kingdom. Afterwards, they swam across Lake Sundra, battling the monsters within it. Their journey came to a stop, though, when they reached the Emerald Wall.

The Emerald Wall stretched as far as the eye could see and was guarded by a centaur. He stood tall and brave turning away anyone who requested passage through the gate. The three friends crossed the very narrow bridge towards him.

“Stop right there”, said the centaur, “none shall pass through this gate without first slaying me. Many have tried but none have succeeded and you are not even armed. Turn around now.”

“Please,” said Giselle, “you must let us through. We are searching for the unicorn king. He is the only one of my kind left. I must be with him.”

“Unicorn hey?” asked the centaur. “You know, I’m mostly unicorn”.

“No,” said Dram, “You’re mostly centaur. Big difference”.

“Well,” said the centaur, ignoring the dog, “I have the right parts”, he winked, “if you know what I mean”.

Giselle rolled her eyes and looked away from the centaur.

“Not happenin’, bro” said Chester.

“Alright fine,” said the centaur, “I will only let you through if you can answer my riddle.”

“A riddle?”, asked Giselle.

“Yeah,” he answered, “that’s the only way to gain entrance anywhere in these mystical kingdom places. Hold on, I’ve got it here somewhere”. The centaur fumbled through his satchel trying to find his riddle.

While he was distracted, Chester crouched low to the bridge and crawled beneath the centaur’s legs to the door on the other side. He pushed it open and motioned for the others to follow.

Dram crouched down and set off after his friend. Before Giselle could follow, the centaur looked up.

“Hey,” he cried, “Get back over here”. He tried to turn around to face the two dogs but the bridge was too narrow to properly move his legs. To turn his body around was impossible. All he could do was turn his head towards them and yell. Defeated, the centaur sighed. “Well, you might as well go too”, he said to Giselle.

Giselle crouched under the centaur’s legs and crawled towards her friends.

“Hey blondie,” said the centaur, “while you’re down there…”, he winked at her. With a sigh, Giselle rammed her golden horn into the centaur’s leg causing him to scream and fall off of the bridge into the water below. They closed the door behind them.

What Giselle saw on the other side of the wall caused her to weep uncontrollably. It was Ahlamel Forest. They were back where they had started.

“I don’t understand”, said Giselle, “How is this possible?”. The two dogs retreated in shame.

“Honestly,” said Chester, “We had no idea where the hell we were going”.

“What?” asked Giselle.

“Well,” said Dram, “we were just kind of hoping to run into him somewhere. I mean, it’s not like he has a house or anything, he a fucking unicorn, he lives in the forest.”

“And if you haven’t noticed,” said Chester, “This whole damn kingdom is a forest.”

Giselle began to sob. She feared she had been cursed. Was it her fate to be alone forever? It wasn’t long before a shaking in the trees caused her to look up. From it, emerged the most handsome unicorn she had ever seen. His coat was as white as hers and his main a dark brown. Giselle was taken back by the size of the horn standing atop his head. She had never seen one so big.

“Meh,” said Chester, “I’ve seen bigger”.

“Barely average”, added Dram.

“Giselle?” asked the unicorn. She was overjoyed and moved to him.

“Yes”, she answered, “I have been searching all over for you, Ryan”.

“And I you, Giselle”. The two unicorns nuzzled each other.

“Yo, Dog,” said Dram, “These guys are totally going to get it on”.

“Mos’ def” said Chester.

Giselle nuzzled Ryan’s neck and brushed her head along his back. Once she reached his midsection, she lowered her head and rammed her horn into his chest. Ryan screamed in pain and collapsed to the ground, wildly thrashing his legs while blood pooled on the ground. Giselle walked towards the terrified dogs.

“There” she said with a smile, blood dripping from her horn. “Now, I’m the last unicorn”.